


Take my breath

by wanderingalonelypath



Series: Tumblr ficlets [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Downworld meeting, Jace Wayland has PTSD, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingalonelypath/pseuds/wanderingalonelypath
Summary: He and Jace were actually starting to be friends, which is why he really didn't want to be at this random Downworld meeting when he could be watching crappy horror flicks with Jace instead.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Series: Tumblr ficlets [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699021
Kudos: 60





	Take my breath

“Why am I here, again?” Simon whispered to Raphael, who glared at him. They were currently gathered around a table at Magnus’s, along with a representative with each race of Downworlder. Magnus himself was here, of course, as was Luke, Raphael, Meliorn, and him, for some reason.

“Because Luke trusts you. Magnus too, but he trusts me as well.” Raphael murmured back and promptly returned to listening to Luke and Meliorn discuss some sort of patrol route. Simon smiled at that. It was nice to hear that Magnus trusted him, but he really would rather be anywhere else,

Like with Jace.

Simon smiles slightly. Surprisingly, since the Institute being taken over by Valentine, he and Jace had grown closer. He was afraid it was the bite at first; Izzy took him to the side one day and told him that it would be perfectly normal to experience some feelings toward Jace after he drunk his blood. And Simon did feel those feelings, that bitter ache in the middle of the night, the inexplicable need to go find Jace right that second and-

But he got over it. Within a week, it was gone. Simon thought he was finally free of that unsettling jump his heart made whenever Jace walked into a room, the way his ears felt hot whenever Jace smiled in that certain way. The way he does whenever he sees something that makes him happier than he knows what to do with.

But it didn’t go away, even when Jace stumbled into the boathouse one night, groaning about bandages and his place being closer than the Institute. They only grew closer from that night; Jace would drop by unexpectedly, sometimes just to talk. Then they started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine together, it was just downhill from there.

He would almost dare to call Jace a good friend now. And if he still felt those little butterflies whenever he saw him, well, no one needed to know that but Simon.

He and Jace were supposed to go see a movie tonight; some thriller Jace had been wanting to see. Simon hated scary movies. Ironic, seeing as he was living as one of the things featured in said movies. But Jace had wanted to go so badly, and sometimes Simon thinks there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Jace. 

And of course, there had to be an emergency Downworld meeting.

Simon fiddled with the string on his pants for the third time. It kept getting longer every time he messed with it, and he knew he would ruin them if he kept messing with it, but he was so bored.

He nearly cried with relief when his phone buzzed.

It was a text from Jace, Simon realized with a breath. That was another new thing they did; texting each other randomly throughout the day. The almost intimacy of it made him grin. 

‘help’

Simon’s stomach dropped. Jace didn’t have any missions today and he wasn’t going on patrol. He was supposed to be resting; he had been sent on so many missions lately. When Simon canceled on the movie for the meeting, Jace said he was going to catch up on sleep.

Something was wrong. Simon could feel it.

He stood abruptly, his chair screeching back across the floor. He was already calling Jace when Raphael said, “Simon?” A question, but irritated. Raphael probably thought he was trying to get out of being here. The line finally connected, but all he could hear on the other side was harsh breathing. “Jace?” His voice was tinged with panic.

Jace tried to speak, but the world was closing in on him. He should’ve known he’d have a nightmare; he could still feel Valentine’s hands closing around his throat. He’d woken up gasping, clawing at his throat like Valentine was actually on top of him and not in a cell under the Institute. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath, and suddenly the covers were tangling around his legs and trapping him…

He lunged off the bed, elbow banging his elbow on his bedside table and knocking his phone off. Jace thought of Simon, bright, beautiful Simon and before he could regret it he was dialing Simon’s number, hoping he wasn’t interrupting the meeting in the back of his mind.

“Jace, what’s wrong? Jace?!” Simon was slowly starting to panic. He could hear Jace on the other line, breath heaving in and out like he was being choked. Every time he tried to talk he let out a choked whimper and Simon knew he was close to hyperventilating.

Magnus touched his arm, concerned. Raphael was looking at him too, gaze hooded. Luke looked more concerned for Simon than Jace. Simon couldn’t blame him; he must’ve made a worrying picture.

“V-val…” Jace whispered. At first, Simon assumed the worst; Valentine had broken out and had stabbed Jace and he was bleeding out, but Jace was still gasping and he sobbed-  
Everything snapped into clarity.

“Jace, Jace listen to me. You’re having a panic attack. You’ve gotta breathe.” Simon felt himself settle; he knew about panic attacks. He’d had plenty of them, so he knew the procedure to come down from one. He could hear Jace trying to follow his directions, but he just started sobbing. Choked, hurried sobs. He couldn’t calm down.

His voice hitched and he managed to say something. Simon was nearly convinced he was hallucinating.

“Need you.”

If his heart was still beating, it would’ve skipped. Jace was still panicking, but his voice was raw and genuine and when had anyone ever needed him like he could hear Jace did now?

“Ok, ok. I’m coming. Don’t worry, I’m on my way right now.” Simon babbled, desperately trying to assure Jace that he wasn’t alone. The worst thing someone could think while having a panic attack was that they were completely alone. He knew from personal experience.

Jace disconnected. Simon shoved his phone into his back pocket, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair. He looked up at the silent faces staring at him. “I’m sorry-I just-” Raphael, off all people, cut him off. “Go. He needs you.” He said simply. Magnus nodded, flicking his wrist at the door with a little smile.

He didn’t say anything, just sped out of Magnus’s door and went to the Institute.

Jace needed him and, Simon was sure now, he would do anything for him.


End file.
